Moving house ranks among life’s most stressful experiences for adults, and when you add children into the equation, the complexity multiplies exponentially. Children thrive on routine, familiarity, and stability—three things that disappear during a house move. However, with thoughtful planning, age-appropriate communication, and strategies to support children through the transition, you can transform what might be a traumatic experience into an adventure that builds resilience and adaptability.
Understanding How Children Experience Moving
Before diving into practical strategies, it’s essential to understand that children experience and process relocation differently from adults. Where you might see opportunity and excitement, young children often perceive threat and loss. Their world is inherently smaller and more focused—friends from childcare, the park around the corner, their bedroom with familiar wallpaper, the route to grandma’s house. Moving disrupts all of these touchstones simultaneously.
Different ages react differently to moving. Toddlers and preschoolers (ages 2-5) don’t understand the concept of moving until it happens. They experience anxiety through changes in routine and separation from familiar environments. They may regress behaviourally, developing separation anxiety, reverting to thumb-sucking, or experiencing sleep disruptions.
Primary school-aged children (ages 6-11) understand moving conceptually but struggle with leaving friends, teachers, and established social groups. They worry about fitting in at new schools and fear being different. This age group may express anger, exhibit defiant behaviour, or become withdrawn and sad.
Teenagers (ages 12-18) face perhaps the most challenging adjustment. Their identity is deeply connected to their peer groups, and moving can feel like losing part of themselves. They may strongly resist the move, express anger toward parents, struggle with motivation for school, and feel powerless about a significant life decision they didn’t choose.
Understanding these age-specific responses helps you tailor your approach and set realistic expectations for behaviour during and after the move.
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Communicating About the Move: Age-Appropriate Conversations
How and when you tell children about an upcoming move significantly impacts their adjustment. The timing depends on their age—very young children need less advance notice to avoid prolonged anxiety, whilst older children benefit from more time to process and prepare.
For toddlers and preschoolers, two to four weeks’ notice is typically sufficient. Use simple, concrete language: “We’re going to live in a different house. You’ll have a new bedroom, and we’ll find a new park to play at.” Focus on things that will remain the same: “All your toys are coming with us. Mummy and Daddy will still be with you. Your teddy will sleep in your new room.”
Primary school children can handle one to two months’ notice. Be honest about the reasons for moving in terms they can understand, but avoid overwhelming them with adult concerns about finances or career pressures. Emphasise positive aspects whilst acknowledging that they might feel sad about leaving: “I know you’ll miss your friends, and that’s okay. We’ll help you stay in touch. Your new school has a great sports programme, and there’s a swimming pool nearby.”
Teenagers need the longest notice—ideally two to three months—and the most honest communication. Include them in appropriate aspects of the decision-making process. If the move is for your career, explain why this opportunity matters to the family. If downsizing, involve them in discussions about lifestyle priorities. Give them space to express negative feelings without dismissing or minimising their concerns. Their anger is valid even if the move is necessary.
Regardless of age, never surprise children with moving announcements. Ensure both parents (if applicable) present a united front. Be prepared for emotional reactions and make space for them. Follow up initial conversations with ongoing discussions—this isn’t a one-time talk but rather an evolving conversation throughout the moving process.
Involving Children in the Moving Process
One of the most effective strategies for helping children adjust is involving them appropriately in moving preparations. Participation creates a sense of control in an otherwise disempowering situation and helps them feel like active participants rather than passive victims of adult decisions.
For young children, involvement means age-appropriate tasks: choosing which toys to pack in their special “first night” box, decorating their moving boxes with stickers and drawings, helping pack their books or stuffed animals (with supervision), and selecting paint colours or bedding for their new room.
School-aged children can take on more responsibility: researching the new neighbourhood online, packing their own belongings (with guidance about fragility and organisation), creating a photo album or video of their current home and favourite places, helping plan the farewell party for friends, and choosing furniture arrangements for their new room.
Teenagers should be involved in meaningful ways: participating in house-hunting or neighbourhood selection if possible, researching schools, extracurricular activities, and youth groups in the new area, taking responsibility for packing their own room entirely, managing their own goodbyes and contact information exchange with friends, and potentially working part-time to contribute to moving expenses if appropriate.
The key is offering genuine participation appropriate to their maturity level, not just token gestures. Children and teenagers can detect when they’re being patronised, which increases rather than decreases resentment.
Maintaining Routine Amidst Chaos
Moving disrupts everything, but maintaining core routines provides children with anchors of stability during turbulent times. Routines signal safety and predictability, which children desperately need when everything else is changing.
Protect bedtime routines particularly vigilantly. Even when you’re exhausted from packing, maintain the familiar sequence: bath, story, songs, whatever your normal routine includes. Sleep disruption compounds stress for children, creating a negative spiral of tiredness and emotional dysregulation.
Keep meal routines as consistent as possible. Family dinners at the regular time, even if they’re simpler than usual, provide touchstones of normalcy. Avoid falling into the trap of constant takeaway meals during the moving period—whilst convenient, it removes another element of routine and familiarity.
Maintain usual activities where feasible. If Saturday morning is football practice, continue attending even amidst moving preparations. If Tuesday afternoon is library time, keep that appointment. These activities provide continuity and positive experiences outside the stress of moving.
Managing the Practical Challenges of Moving with Children
Beyond emotional support, moving with children presents numerous practical challenges that require advance planning and creative problem-solving.
Childcare during moving days is essential. Having children underfoot whilst removalists are carrying furniture, you’re directing traffic, and chaos reigns is stressful for everyone. Arrange for children to stay with relatives, friends, or attend regular childcare during the actual moving days. This protects them from the stress and potential safety hazards whilst allowing you to focus on managing the move efficiently.
Pack a comprehensive bag for each child with everything they’ll need for the first few days in your new home. Include: multiple changes of clothes, toiletries, comfort items (favourite toy, blanket, pillow), snacks and water bottles, entertainment for car trips or waiting periods, any medications, and familiar bedding. This ensures you can quickly establish their sleeping space and meet their needs even whilst the majority of your belongings remain packed.
Set up children’s rooms first in your new home. Before tackling the kitchen or living areas, prioritise making children’s bedrooms functional and comforting. Familiar bedding, treasured possessions unpacked and visible, and furniture arranged creates a haven they can retreat to when the rest of the house is in disarray.
If possible, visit the new home before moving day so children can see their new space, explore the neighbourhood, and begin forming mental pictures of their new life. This reduces the shock of arriving at a completely unknown place on moving day.
Saying Goodbye: Helping Children Process Leaving
Goodbyes are difficult for children, and how you support them through farewells significantly impacts their emotional wellbeing during and after the move.
For young children, organise small farewell gatherings with close friends and their families. Keep them short and upbeat—young children can’t sustain emotional intensity for long periods. Take photos of children with their friends to create a memory book for your new home.
School-aged children benefit from school-based farewells. Coordinate with teachers to plan a small celebration or opportunity to exchange contact details and small gifts with classmates. Help your child prepare something to share—a short speech, treats to hand out, or a group activity.
Teenagers should largely manage their own goodbyes, but facilitate this by hosting gatherings at your home, ensuring they have time and privacy to say farewell to close friends, helping them exchange contact information thoroughly (phone numbers, social media, email), and perhaps allowing a final sleepover with their best friend.
Throughout this process, acknowledge the grief children feel. Dismissing it with “You’ll make new friends” or “It’s not that bad” invalidates their emotions and teaches them to suppress feelings rather than process them healthily. Better responses include: “I know you’re sad to leave Sarah. She’s been such a good friend,” or “It’s hard to say goodbye to people we love. Your feelings make sense.”
Helping Children Settle in the New Location
The work of supporting children through a move doesn’t end when you’ve unpacked the last box—in many ways, it’s just beginning. The settling-in period requires ongoing attention, patience, and active support.
Explore your new neighbourhood together immediately. Locate the parks, library, shops, and other places your family will frequent. Make these early explorations feel like adventures rather than chores. Stop for treats, take photos, and approach discovery with curiosity and enthusiasm. Your attitude sets the tone for how children perceive their new environment.
Establish new routines quickly whilst incorporating beloved elements from your old life. If Saturday morning pancakes were a tradition, continue them in your new kitchen. If Sunday walks were part of your routine, find a new walking route. This balance of continuity and adaptation helps children feel grounded whilst adjusting to newness.
For school transitions, communicate with teachers and school counsellors in advance. Provide context about the move, any concerns about your child’s adjustment, and information about their academic level and social needs. Request a buddy system if available, pairing your child with a welcoming classmate to ease social integration.
Facilitate connection-building actively. Invite potential friends over for play dates, enrol children in local activities aligned with their interests, attend community events where you’ll encounter other families, and consider joining local parents’ groups to build your own support network whilst connecting children with peers.
Maintain connections to your previous location thoughtfully. Regular video calls with old friends, care packages exchanged, planning visits back when feasible, and following their old school or sports team online help children feel that moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting the past. These connections provide comfort during the adjustment period and generally fade naturally as new friendships form.
Recognising When Children Need Additional Support
Most children adjust to moving within three to six months, though full adjustment can take up to a year. However, some children struggle significantly and benefit from professional support.
Warning signs that a child needs more help include: prolonged sadness or depression lasting beyond a few months, declining academic performance not explained by curriculum differences, social isolation or inability to make friends despite opportunities, aggressive or defiant behaviour that’s out of character, physical complaints (stomach aches, headaches) without medical cause, or excessive anxiety about separation from parents.
If you notice these signs, consult your GP who can refer you to appropriate services. School counsellors often provide excellent support for relocation challenges. Child psychologists specialising in adjustment issues can provide targeted therapy to help children process their experiences and develop coping strategies.
Don’t view seeking help as failure—rather, it’s recognising that some children need additional tools to navigate significant life transitions successfully.
Special Considerations for Different Moving Scenarios
Different types of moves present unique challenges for families. Local moves within the same area might seem simpler, but children still experience loss when leaving their home, even if they’re continuing at the same school. Validate these feelings whilst helping them recognise the benefits of maintaining their existing social connections and activities.
Interstate or international moves are more obviously disruptive. Children leave everything familiar, and the scale of change can feel overwhelming. These moves require more intensive support, longer adjustment periods, and extra effort to maintain previous connections whilst building new ones. Working with Perth moving services that understand family relocations can reduce stress during these complex transitions.
Moves associated with family changes—divorce, death, or job loss—compound emotional difficulty. Children are processing multiple major life events simultaneously, making adjustment more challenging. These scenarios often benefit from professional support to help children separate their feelings about the various changes and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Creating Positive Moving Memories
Whilst moving is stressful, it’s also an opportunity to create meaningful family memories and model resilience for your children. How you approach challenges, adapt to change, and maintain positivity during difficult moments teaches children valuable life skills.
Document the moving journey through photos, videos, or a family journal. Years later, these become treasured records of a significant family transition. Frame the move as an adventure rather than a disaster. Your attitude profoundly influences how children perceive the experience.
Celebrate milestones: the day you found your new home, moving day itself, the first day at new schools, making a new friend, or completing unpacking. Small celebrations acknowledge progress and create positive associations with the transition.
Encourage children to reflect on what they’ve learned through moving. Older children and teenagers might journal about their experiences, growth in adaptability, or new perspectives gained from changing environments. This reflection helps them recognise that challenges also bring opportunities for personal development.
The Long-Term View: Moving as Family Growth
While challenging, moving offers families opportunities for growth, bonding, and developing resilience. Children who successfully navigate moves often develop enhanced adaptability, empathy for others experiencing transitions, confidence in their ability to handle change, and appreciation for family stability amidst external upheaval.
Your role is guiding children through this experience with compassion, patience, and active support. Some days will be difficult. Some children will struggle more than others. Progress isn’t linear—there will be setbacks alongside forward movement.
Trust that with time, consistency, and love, your children will adjust. The bedroom that felt strange will become their favourite space. The new school will become simply “school.” New friends will become genuine connections. And perhaps most importantly, they’ll have learned that change, while difficult, is manageable—and that’s a lesson that serves them throughout life.
Moving with children requires energy, patience, and intentionality. But by understanding their experiences, supporting them through transition, and maintaining family connection and routine amidst chaos, you can guide your family through this significant life event toward positive outcomes on the other side.
